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Cur: 2021-01-20 (Wed) 01:19:34 匿名[/xuvpjCmswQ]   |
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| | + | http://shaboxes.com/author/okcupid/ |
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| | + | https://okcupid.substack.com/p/are-you-neutering-your-man |
| | + | https://okcupid.substack.com/p/get-ready-get-setmidlife-dating |
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| | + | "Going in order" might be one of the sillier ideas I have about dating. I also think it's true. |
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| | + | By "going in order" I mean a gradual progression towards intimacy, both emotional and physical. I suppose that the progression could go differently for different people, but mostly you shouldn't feel rushed or anxious. Perhaps it also means: take your time. In case it isn't totally obvious by now, I'm terrible at taking my time. I'm impatient and I want things to happen yesterday. |
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| | + | When I feel rushed it's usually because something is off, something is wrong. I get anxious and I try and speed things up, I call, I ask for dates, I send chatty emails. When things are fine, when there is no cause for worry, I don't think about whose turn it is to call or edit my emails a dozen times (just half a dozen) before sending them out. Maybe I'm scared that the whole thing will slip away so I get clingy. This causes the other person to pull back and confirms my worst fears. |
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